Thandeka’s story
We all want to fit in. We all want to belong. I wasn’t any different.
Last year my family and I moved to Durban from Johannesburg, which meant I had to leave my friends, and everything I’d known, behind.
It also meant that I had to attend a new school in grade 11. By the time I got to the school everyone had known each other since grade 8 (some people even longer). It was really hard being the n ew girl. All I really wanted was to make a friend and get all the inside jokes that my classmates shared.
Months went by and I still hadn’t made any friends. And then one day at the bus stop a girl, Zinzi, in matric offered me a cigarette. I told her that I didn’t smoke but she said I might like it if I tried. So I did - because I was afraid if I didn’t, she would stop talking to me.  After that Zinzi and I became friends. She introduced me to her friends and I finally had people to spend my lunch break with. I didn’t feel so alone anymore – I finally had somewhere I belonged.
But I worked really hard to fit in and I lost myself along the way. I started skipping school (something I’d never done before), smoking and sneaking out of the house to go to parties. I did everything that they did – even things that I wasn’t comfortable with and that I knew I would get into trouble for later. I didn’t care – all that mattered to me was being cool and proving to them that I belonged.
And then everything crumbled around me. At the end of term 2, I had failed most of my subjects. I had been so focused on fitting in and pleasing my new friends that I had completely lost myself. My parents were furious. I allowed other people's’ opinions of me to control my actions and I ended up disappointing my parents and myself in the process. This was the wake-up call that I needed - luckily it wasn’t too late.
I decided to spend less time trying to fit in and more time figuring out who I was.
I stopped trying doing things to get Zinzi and the rest of the group to like me and focused on doing the things that I liked instead. I joined our school poetry club and I made friends with people who liked the same things as me.
I learnt how to say no to things that I didn’t want to do. I stood my ground and didn’t give in to what people said. It was hard saying no at first. I would make up excuses of why I couldn’t make it. I eventually got the hang of saying the two-lettered word.
I also started avoiding situations that made me uncomfortable. My classmates would also invite me to parties which I knew would have alcohol and trouble. No matter how fun it sounded like, I knew it would not be worth it to fall off the wagon.
I made new friends - Friends aren’t all bad, they can also have a positive influence, I learned this when I befriended Nomsa. She and I have big dreams. She wants to be a doctor and I want to be a computer programmer. So we study and have fun together by going to the movies. We keep each other accountable and make sure that we are passing to reach our dreams.
This experience taught me to never go with just any flow. I made a choice to only let the positive things influence me and only do things I am comfortable with, because at the end of the day, it was only my life that was impacted.
Do you ever have to deal with peer pressure? Tell us your experience in the comments section.
Share your feedback
Your thoughts
Vuvu
Some kids will do everything to fit in. Even if breaking the rules I don't have any experience but I had a friend who will do anything for attention. I guess she was going with a flow too😔
Aug. 17, 2022, 4:03 p.m.
Mamajozi
My loyalty best friendtried to lie about me I I found out that she was saying I have crush on his boyfriend so now l don't trust her anymore so my mom say l have to leave and never be friends with her she is only friend I have advice me please 😔😔🥺🤔
Aug. 16, 2022, 7:02 p.m.
Latest Reply
Maphungula
Yoh I think maybe found other friends and leave her 🤔
Mashangase
Maybe maphungula is right 🤔
Mamajozi
Thanks guys for your support 😍
Nawty-IMO
Hi and sorry for your friend doing wrong to you
Mamajozi
Yes I have story to share
Aug. 16, 2022, 6:55 p.m.
Mamajozi
My name is emihle majozi
Aug. 16, 2022, 6:51 p.m.
Latest Reply
Maphungula
Do you have story to share
Mamajozi
Hey guys I'm new here
Aug. 16, 2022, 6:50 p.m.
Latest Reply
Maphungula
Hey welcome
Mashangase
Hey
Aug. 16, 2022, 6:47 p.m.
Latest Reply
Mamajozi
Hey mashangase
Mashangase
Please respond guys
Aug. 16, 2022, 5:50 p.m.
Latest Reply
Maphungula
Am 10 yrs
Mashangase
My f wanting me to date with school boy so I said I am not ready for dating tht she said ubozisa iteam
Aug. 16, 2022, 5:50 p.m.
Entle
Ahhh 😣 pls chat ladies 🙏🙏🙏
Aug. 14, 2022, 7:25 p.m.
Latest Reply
Maphungula
Me too abarespond it me mashangase I changed my profile because my sister is a trouble maker
Entle
Wow this story is very good and interesting. Anyway I am Entle I am new here 13 yrs old 😍 I would like to say hi to all the gals in this group.
Aug. 14, 2022, 6:36 p.m.
Latest Reply
Thingo
Heyy❤🙈
Thingo
Hey guys my name is Thingo❤😻I'm from Hillcrest nd I'm 15 yrs old I'm new here 📍
Aug. 14, 2022, 5:15 p.m.
Latest Reply
Entle
Hey Thingo thing thing
Awethu
If you want to feel welcomed leave your tens we'll add you everywhere ♥️🥰♥️
Aug. 14, 2022, 9:19 a.m.
Lov
Hi Mthaniya
Aug. 13, 2022, 8:48 p.m.
Mthaniya
Hi guys I'm MTHANIYA from DAVEYTON I'm 13 years old Intro please so tht I can chat with you guys
Aug. 13, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Latest Reply
Appu
Yes I would love too
Simo
Hi I'm new my name is Esona Ndawuni Simo. I'm 11 years old and i want to join this app.
Aug. 13, 2022, 9:26 a.m.
Latest Reply
Entle
Hey gal which school do u attend . I think I know u
Awethu
Oh wow beutiful story😍🤗💝
Aug. 13, 2022, 7:28 a.m.
Latest Reply
Entle
Exactly
Samu
Hi Mimi we can be your friends what is the name of your school
Aug. 13, 2022, 1:55 a.m.
Nikiwe
Put ur self first and never be controlled by anyone.💯💯
Aug. 12, 2022, 7:29 p.m.
Latest Reply
Mthaniya
Yes❤
Thingo
Well said 😘❤
Entle
Yes sis . Ushaye ukhona. I give you a five star ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Awethu
Girls numbers plz❤❤🙏lets try and create a safe space around us let bring closer those who love ,understand and listen to us💞💘
Aug. 12, 2022, 3:22 p.m.
Latest Reply
Appu
OK mine is 0768322660 And add yours
Mthaniya
Hi
Awethu
Everybody your numbers plz❤❤❤💘💞🙏🙏🙏
Aug. 12, 2022, 3:01 p.m.
Latest Reply
Simo
0657010163
ItsSammy
0815366753 mine
ItsSammy
0815366753
Magugu
060 671 4632
Matsemela
My advice is that practice to say no and make good friends ❤👭
Aug. 11, 2022, 7:10 p.m.
Latest Reply
BZet
Yes
BZet
If you are a person you must always think about yourself no Matter how,you can chill and make friends but the Key point is that always try to read on yourself study💯
Aug. 11, 2022, 1:14 p.m.
Latest Reply
Awethu
♥️♥️
Wendy07Đube
Sometimes u must not do things because someone is doing it or u want to be part of it or to fit in where u actually don't belong
Aug. 9, 2022, 9 p.m.
Latest Reply
Buhle_mabontle
EXACTLY
Thembi
You can't do everything to make people or your friends to be happy.always put yourself first
Aug. 9, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
Latest Reply
BZet
Agree💯
Kamomphelaxx
Higuys i am new here and i want to know about you guys
Aug. 9, 2022, 11:54 a.m.
Latest Reply
Mpho_skhosana
I am also new here so plz add me so that we can chat and maybe we can get along If u are interested plz add me with this number 0763095131
Gesels
Me to
Nombulelo
This story
Aug. 7, 2022, 6:17 p.m.
Latest Reply
Entle
Hey Nombulelo I want to ask u do you know Siviwe Primary School. If you do pls reply 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Cindy
I'm new here on springster I'm cindy pls introduce yourselves
Aug. 7, 2022, 5:56 p.m.
Latest Reply
Nombulelo
Hi i'm nombulelo how old are you
Cindy
I'm 16 years
Mpho_skhosana
I am Mpho from Johannesburg South And where do u stay
Tumi
Hi I'm tumi from benoni and where are you from?
Klye
Thando from pongola , you?
Cassius
Cindy App number pls
Nombulelo
Even i am new here in springster will you please introduce yourself i am nombulelo
Aug. 7, 2022, 5:38 p.m.
Latest Reply
Jabu
I'm jabu nombulelo
Malerato
Hi guys am new too
Aug. 6, 2022, 4:59 a.m.
Sethabile
Sanibonani Guys , I'm new here at Springster. hey i'de like to know you better
Aug. 2, 2022, 5:30 p.m.
Latest Reply
Buhle_mabontle
Hey
Amierh
Hi we can chat on moya app 0790583937
Nombulelo
Hi
Jabu
Hello
Awethu
Hey girl
Mthaniya
Hyyie
Makhokholombhani
If u knw where u come from and where you are and where you are going it will b easy fo you focus on what u want to archieve and peer preasure wont have a chance or effect in your life
Aug. 2, 2022, 7:36 a.m.
Khetty
Hello I'm interested and I'm new
Aug. 2, 2022, 6:37 a.m.
Latest Reply
Mpho_skhosana
Hello
Sollisa
Good choice👌
Aug. 1, 2022, 5:11 p.m.
busia
good luck
July 31, 2022, 5:46 p.m.
Mictal
And you are right you must never Go with the flow 💖💝
July 30, 2022, 11:39 p.m.
Mictal
Hi I'm new 😔
July 30, 2022, 11:37 p.m.
Latest Reply
Entle
Hey gal wats wit the sad face lala . Here I am I can chat with you anytime even midnight do you need someone to talk yo
Swazi
Hi Mimi
July 30, 2022, 6:39 p.m.
Latest Reply
Precioushlatshwayo46
Hi um also new
Khetty
Hey
Amierh
Hi
Moeng
Hi Mimi l am new here so tell me more 👍👍 about you girl because dat 1 I were like to play with is gone 🥺🥺💭🗯️👀
Sixishe
Sanibononi my name is Mimi.Am 11years old. 🧀🍖🥨🌰🥓🍕
July 26, 2022, 7:09 p.m.
Latest Reply
Lindelwa_Leerh
Hi Mimi how are you?
Reatlegile
Hi Mimi 😘
Thwala
HI MIMI
Mictal
🖐️🖐️Mimi
busia
ok
Nozipho
Good morning guys I new to this page / group I do not have any friends can your be my friends
Mpho_skhosana
Heyy guys l am also new can u guys be my friends
Hlonib._.kind13.
Never do that ever again and I hope you in a safe place now
July 26, 2022, 12:22 p.m.
Latest Reply
kind._boo19
True #girls_powa
Hlonib._.kind13.
Okay it's true the story is interesting 😋
Tebello
Don't do that again 😥😥😥🔥❤️
kind._boo19
Hello is story is so interesting wat more stories that are interesting
July 26, 2022, 12:20 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hlonib._.kind13.
Hi
kind._boo19
How's u
Nozipho
Yes girl 💪
Buhle_mabontle
Yes i did. My friends always encouraged me to date with boys and i was scared of losing my friends by saying no. So i started to date. Until one day
July 23, 2022, 8:13 p.m.
Latest Reply
Buhle_mabontle
my friend told me to kiss him and i got furious and i told my teacher. My teacher said i should never ever date and never listen to friends.❤❤
Rukya
Girls there's one thing I need to say Why do we girl's do things to please others ?? n by the end of the day those ppl who u pleased ain't gonna please u back N we girl's we don't think we just do anything without hesitation n did u ever asked ur self why God gave us brains??? No god gave us brains to think bt are we thinking no thanks there's a say that says we can choose friends bt not family if u still have a chance to choose friends then do so Don't ever try to please yr friends bc there are some peers who force to do good stuff like ur friends who forces u to do yr homework that's a good pl ladies let's try to think n we must be able to differentiate between good and wrong
Lindelwa_Leerh
Girls you must choose friends please.
Buhle_mabontle
Exactly what. Y should we listen to friends. Because at the end of the day they will not come to our funeral.
Nombulelo
What happend that day
Buhle_mabontle
Hey Nombulelo. I am also new. I think i have a month here. So regarding your question which day are u talking about
Mavis
At least you realised eart💖💖
July 23, 2022, 6:01 p.m.
@nosipho_3414
You were lucky to realise early ♥️♥️♥️
July 23, 2022, 2:28 p.m.
Latest Reply
Nombulelo
True
Nomfundis
Hi everyone
July 23, 2022, 8:05 a.m.
Latest Reply
Buhle_mabontle
Hi❤
Lindelwa_Leerh
Hi❤
Reatlegile
Hi❤️
Mpho_skhosana
Hi💙
Alucia
Sha did really good
July 23, 2022, 5:32 a.m.
MaMbaliza
Hello Guys I'm new here.
July 22, 2022, 7:16 p.m.
Latest Reply
Thwala
Hello
Samu
Hi Mambaliza how are you, are you a girl
Lucy
Hi guys I have a problem with my family they always fight every single day what can I do?😥😥
July 22, 2022, 5:34 p.m.
Latest Reply
Mavis
Try to tell them how you feel about the situation but in A respectful manner
Awethu
1= Sit down with them 2=Express your feelings 3=Tell them how they are affecting your life 4=After all it's your future do this for it
Lucy
Hi girl😃😃
July 22, 2022, 5:32 p.m.
Madikizela
Hy guys 🤩 and I 💕 guys Ian kindly child
July 20, 2022, 6:30 p.m.
Latest Reply
Madikizela
Sorry guys I write wrong thing😭😭🥺
MACHOBANE
I don't like peer pressure to control 👀👀me to do wrong👎👎 things 😞😞😞
July 20, 2022, 5:20 p.m.
Latest Reply
Sethabile
Very Good don't let your guard down.
Lucy
Thanks
July 20, 2022, 3:57 a.m.
Madikizela
Back to school guys 🤩 and ♥️♥️ guys 🤩
July 19, 2022, 2:11 p.m.
Latest Reply
Amogelang_Amo07
Love you too girl 💖🌹 And hi I'm new her
Lucy
Yay I'm going back to school finally
Pre4t7t6y
Moya tenz
Madikizela
HI guys 🤩❤️ you guys 🤩
July 18, 2022, 12:25 p.m.
Latest Reply
Lee_06
Love you too girl💓
Madikizela
Thanks 💯 sky🤩🤩🤗
July 18, 2022, 12:21 p.m.
Nomthawelanga
Hi guys I am new
July 18, 2022, 9:59 a.m.
Latest Reply
Madikizela
Hi girl 🤩
MaMbaliza
Hello
Nomthawelanga
Can I get your numbers because I don't have any one to speak with I don't have friends 😪
Entle
Hi sis I can c you wanted someone's number.
roby
hi guys i' m new
July 16, 2022, 3:56 p.m.
Latest Reply
Makhaye
Me to I am new 💚💚
Zondi
Hi guys I'm new
Madikizela
Hi Asheilgh I am not a fool
July 16, 2022, 1:48 p.m.
Latest Reply
100sky
Don't mind her if she called you a fool she's a fool your not a fool
Madikizela
Hi guys 🤩😂🤩❤️
July 16, 2022, 7:59 a.m.
Latest Reply
Asheilgh
Seriously fool😕
Amanda24
How are you ♥️
100sky
Hi😁
Rukya
Wait what going on
Buhle_mabontle
Why did you call a other child a fool
Nomthawelanga
Asheilg why do you call another person 😒 a fool 🤔 😒
Nomthawelanga
Hi guys I am new
July 15, 2022, 3:25 p.m.
Latest Reply
Madikizela
Hi girl 🤗🤗
100sky
Hello
Nomthawelanga
Can I get your numbers plz coz I need someone to talk to a friend I don't have friends 😪😪😪
Mpho_skhosana
0763095131
Nomthawelanga
Thanks
Peity
Hi guys l'm new here,l really loved your story 👌💯❤️
July 15, 2022, 1:16 p.m.
Xienevan
Hi guys advice about my crush
July 15, 2022, 10:13 a.m.
Latest Reply
Mavis
How old are you
Xienevan
Hi guys i am new
July 15, 2022, 10:12 a.m.
Madikizela
Thanks guys for advice me 💌😀💕💕🤩🤩
July 15, 2022, 6:38 a.m.
@mahle
😞🙋🏻♀️love your story ❤️😞
July 14, 2022, 6:05 p.m.
Latest Reply
Ncumisa
Mmh it is too good you should write a booklet(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤(✿ ♡‿♡)❤️❤️😘👋🤞🥺🧸💎❣️
Madikizela
Yes
July 14, 2022, 5:07 p.m.
Jinx
I'd never be controlled by peer pressure Ever 😡
July 14, 2022, 2:06 p.m.
Mngomezulu
I was had friends in my precious grade last year ,they were really great friends.we used to share everything ,& do everything together.But that changed this year when we got separated from our classes.They all turned their back on me when they found a girl they can replace me with.So this I had no friends ,until I met a girl called Asanda and her friends I thought I found real friends ,but those friends influenced me to have many boyfriend's 🥺 .And I lost control on my school work .I lacked a lot.And failed my first term😩.
July 13, 2022, 8:54 p.m.
Latest Reply
Nomthawelanga
That very bad yoh🤔
Lucy
😟😟😟
Ncumisa
Eish I feel you❣️❣️🙏
Buhle_mabontle
Eish i feel u😣 almost same story
Samu
That's bad sorry about that 🥺🥺can I be your friend can I have your number how old are you and what is the name of your school which grade are you doing
Madikizela
Guys please😭 answer me😀😂
July 13, 2022, 12:52 p.m.
Latest Reply
Tshedza
Why
Madikela
Please guys advice me about my boyfriend he don't like me What should I do 😭😭😡😠
July 12, 2022, 11:50 a.m.
Latest Reply
Malindi
Leave him
Mchunu
That means you like him .... He is no longer your boyfriend 💔
Jinx
Break up
Tshedza
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Ori34
Leave him💔💔💔💔💔
Samu
Madikizela how old are you
Madikela
OKAY thank Ntebaleng😍🥰🤩
July 12, 2022, 11:44 a.m.
Latest Reply
Ntebaleng
Can you send your number so that I can add you in the group
Tshedza
0649814185
Lee_06
Hi ntebaleng what kind of a group are you 🤔
Mpho_skhosana
0763095131
Ntebaleng
Hi guys we make a group so that we can chat❤️♥️🤩if you want to join uus entire your numbers so that I ccan add you
July 12, 2022, 10:47 a.m.
Latest Reply
Mlungicy
063 751 0704
Siyamthanda22
0656591500
Ntebaleng
Thank you guys
Emihlemthethi
0640235611
Budila
0636265192
Ameerah
0735410049
Nicole
0610847024
Mngomezulu
0637735223
Mchunu
0726427951
Rukya
Hello guys no offence bt the group that we made is for girls not boys sorry 😔😔
Non2008
063 1030095
Xienevan
Can i be in the group
Nkateko
0812828381
Peity
0832377665
Tshedza
0649814185
Lee_06
Is your group in moya or whatsapp?
Anastacia4k
0736419783
Rukya
No our group is in moya not whatsapp n it's not for males only female's please
Ncumisa
0787352439
Hlonib._.kind13.
0685583242
Ori34
0722845811
kind._boo19
0769943414
Malerato
083 881 5020
Khulanqobe
0721437974
Mpho_skhosana
0763095131
Madikela
Hi Thandeka
July 11, 2022, 10:04 p.m.
Rap_dog_5000
It's true. Once you get distracted by the wrong things you tend to lose track of time and what is most important.
July 11, 2022, 8:30 p.m.
SHAMALAMA
I went with the flow and i created a facebook account and i dropped from position 2 to position. I regret it #DONTGOWITHTHEFLOW
July 11, 2022, 5:46 p.m.
Latest Reply
Tshedza
#DONT GO WITH THE FLOW
Ori34
# dont go with the flow
Busi
Yep the girl that I sit next to in the class wants to sit with her best friend. I hate that even though in break she pressure me .sometime they will offer me R1 to sit at the back. But sometimes I act like I am sick even though I am not.......I couldn't pretend anymore 😭😭🔥
July 9, 2022, 9:37 p.m.
Latest Reply
Tshedza
R1 only 🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉
Nasiha
This story taught me that I shouldn't please anybody any friends because I am not here to please other ppl I am here in this world for a purpose
July 8, 2022, 10:13 p.m.
Latest Reply
Tshedza
Yes,girl
Ameerah
Hi I am Ameerah I am 14years old me and my best friend were dating for a month so he cheated on me so I moved on with my life but know he wants me back what do I do
July 8, 2022, 8:29 p.m.
Latest Reply
Busi
I would like to say if you still want him back so what are you waiting for but if you can't it is your choice not mine I'm just saying .
Busi
Can we be friends plz!!!I need a friend...
Ameerah
Yes we can be friends 😘
Nicole
I think u shouldn't go back and patch things up with him since u know 'if one things broken, it will never be fixed again' but if you love him enough u could try to fix things with him
Tshedza
I think he's a player because it's not possible for friends to date
lebogang
good story i learn a lot ❤🌏
July 8, 2022, 10:25 a.m.
Latest Reply
Mageliza
Yeah♥️♥️
Sethu
The best part about this story is that she came back to her senses and become a greater person ♥️ good story indeed 🤗
July 7, 2022, 7:05 p.m.
Latest Reply
lebogang
wow❤🤗
Ameerah
I can't wait to tell my crush how I feel about him
tester
Learning a lot!!
July 4, 2022, 8:19 p.m.
Jessica
Today the 4th of July my sister was kidnapped by my uncle he went to him to go give him food but she never came back when we went to his room the window was open and he was gone with my sister 🥺🖤
July 4, 2022, 5:54 p.m.
Latest Reply
tester
July 4th
Mrkmwt
Ohhh I see
Busi
Sorry girl I hope she is alright 😭😭
Amy780
Yorh man nowadays is werid and disgusting I mean he was suppose to look after her but instead he wanted to use he ...I hope she is fine
Nihan
It's a good story and I learnt a lot from it♥️
July 3, 2022, 10:23 a.m.
Mpumey
Good story indeed❤and I learned a lot from it😊❤
July 2, 2022, 9:38 p.m.
Blose
Keep if up❤️
July 1, 2022, 8:36 p.m.
Zanele
It was really hard and I really pressuring 😫😫😥
June 29, 2022, 7:32 p.m.
Love
How is yours different
June 28, 2022, 9:09 p.m.
Latest Reply
Nokwanda
U had to ask mara wena
Chicho
I going through the same thing 💔 Just in a different situation
June 28, 2022, 7:26 p.m.
Latest Reply
Nokwanda
Sorry
Ameerah
Oh shame🥺
Love
Who sometimes feel like they can be biosextual🙄🙄
June 27, 2022, 10:35 p.m.
Latest Reply
Nokwanda
Me right here but it feels like nobody will like the real me
Tintswalo2808_
I do but ppl won't like it🥺🥺🥺
Nokwanda
That wat i feel like joh
Sine
Awesome
June 27, 2022, 2:29 p.m.
Chesszen
Lol I love your story 💖. Peer pressure do not let someone else tell you what to do 🤞🤞💖😔😔
June 27, 2022, 8:18 a.m.
Latest Reply
Nokwanda
True that
2003fog60
😥I like ur story
June 27, 2022, 6:37 a.m.
Latest Reply
Love
I like you💓💗
Nokwanda
Love it seems u like everyone
Tshedza
Even i have seen that Love like everyone in SPINGSTER and
Olwethu
I luv ur story 😍😍
June 26, 2022, 2:36 a.m.
Latest Reply
Promise
Hey girl
Nokwanda
It's lovable
Kinamaboy
I like the story
June 24, 2022, 10:17 a.m.
Kabelo12
Mika baby I luv u so much you just don't pay attention or notice me. I wish you fel
May 9, 2022, 4:46 p.m.
Latest Reply
Chesszen
True peer pressure is bad out here 😔😔💖
Love
I will love you and pay attention to you MY LOVE 😚😚
Tshedza
Wow
Hope u in a safe place now
March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.
Latest Reply
Promise
Hey
Hope u in a safe place now
March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.
Latest Reply
Mbally
Hi guys I'm new here my name is mbally I live in durban is any one here who is 27 upwards if I may ask?