No means no

It’s your body and your choice.

Your thoughts (309)

The ability to say “NO” is your right. Nobody can tell you that you don’t get to choose what happens to your body and your life. This is true for all parts of life, but it’s especially important to remember when you start dating.

Your bae might be kind, funny and cute but sometimes, you might meet a guy who’s a bit pushy.

Refiloe learned this the hard way when her Prince Charming tried to put his hands where they did not belong during a movie date.

She tried using body language to show him that the way he was touching her was not okay, but he didn’t stop. She was scared but she knew that if she wanted to make him stop, she would have to speak up.

She gathered all of her courage and firmly and loudly, “Stop it. I don’t want you to touch me like that.”

Girls are taught to be polite, nice, and respectful. But if someone makes you uncomfortable, you don’t owe them respect. It’s your body and your right to say “NO”, Here are some tips on how to do it:

Plan it. Think through situations ahead of time. Plan how you’ll say “NO” if you need to. Say the words aloud and in different ways. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend. Avoid it. Try to avoid spending time with people who make you uncomfortable or try to get you to do things you don’t want to. Say it. If someone’s trying to get you to do something you know you shouldn’t, or something that makes you feel nervous, tell them, “No thanks. I don’t do that,” or say “stop that”.

If someone is treating you badly, remember you have rights.

Share your feedback

Your thoughts

Marry

I was also raped by my bf and i regret it everyday and I'm lonely my friends lefted me because I'm not a virgin anymore and it is hurts I'm lonely and in pain i tried to say no but it didn't work 😭😭😭😭😥😢💔💔

Aug. 14, 2022, 7:34 p.m.

Latest Reply
Marry

Help with advice,wgat should i do😭😭

Aqilah

Did u report him to the police u have to go to the police if they don't believe u try to come with proof Angeke safa ngabafana basi dlwengula # SAY NO MORE No Is a no no can never change to be a yes and if they think they can get away with this well they're wrong # NO MORE BOY'S # MAN/BOYS

Aqilah

# MEN/BOYS ARE THRASH Safa ngabafana 🙌🙌 lezinja lezi no offence bt not all the boys n Men are the same no bt they are some males who's brain's are corrupted let's be each other's strength girls ✊

Aqilah

A no can never change to be a yes no matter wht even in yr dreams

Marry

The police didn't help and I'm helpless

Aqilah

Wht the hell they didn't help u police of nowadays if a crime happens they just sit n do nothing until someone reports the crime n after they go around the streets making themselves look busy bt dololo they ain't does this little brat called ur bf does he feel sry if he doesn't he's gonna pay n the next thing u gonna telk him u pregnant he's gonna run away boy's are stupid all the can do or know is to run away don't as Springsters we gonna be there for you u don't need that stupid little brat

Aqilah

I don't know why boys don't get satisfied even if we kiss them on the cheek hug them they just want more they're so disgusting I wonder where does this dusgustingness come from they're mind are so perverted n some of them are proud after doing this disgusting things they don't think twice before ruining other girls life this is a sign that boy's are stupid becoz 1.if u love

Aqilah

They don't that if u love someone u make sure that u don't do anything to hurt that person u treat them like an egg bt do those brat's whom we call bf do they care no bc they feel that we don't have feelings they think that we are robot's n that's not fair n we might commit suicide coz we scared wht we gonna tell our parents n wht the society might say mina mu girl I would be there with u to make sure that this nonsense rubbish that boy's must stop

Marry

Thank you the problem is i thit I'm pregnant guys please help me i have morning sicknesses

Mihle_

Am soo sorry🥺💔

Entle

Hi am Entle I am new my sister has been raped so we went to the police station as we went there she was knocked down by a taxi she got an accident I saw that was the day the Lord wanted her back . Pls give me an advice to recover. Sorry I am 13 yrs old

Aug. 13, 2022, 11:32 p.m.

Latest Reply
Aqilah

Whenever u miss her just cry let it all out u will feel better becoz everyone needs to cry in order to feel better bt anyway sry for yr loss

Owethu13

Hey Guys can you please add me to the springster Group💕💕072 714 8577

Aug. 13, 2022, 6:30 p.m.

Latest Reply
Mihle_

Me roo 063 731 6455

Marry

Just take one of her stuff and pray God is your answer,😇😇🙏🙏🙏

Thembi

We need to fight for our selfs because if you say no to a boy he will want to beat you.we must stand up for our selfs from boys

Aug. 9, 2022, 8:06 p.m.

Malerato

No means no guys

Aug. 9, 2022, 6:33 p.m.

Latest Reply
Marry

#mans/boys are trash

Ayabonga

No is no guyz

Aug. 8, 2022, 5:56 p.m.

yamkela

hello guys i am new my name is yamkela and i am lesbian so i don't know if i can join or not??

Aug. 8, 2022, 2 p.m.

Latest Reply
Akilah

Ofcourse u can as long as you are a girl

Prince

Do boiz allowed here

Thembi

You still have something that says that you are a girl.because you are not a real boy .you just wish to be a boy

Marry

Sure u can join us u are a girl after that

Elihle22

Hii my name is Elihle uu are telling the truth no means no boys need to understand and a girl must be careful if ur boyfriend has asked for sex and uu didn't agree to have sex with ur bf because ur bf might rape uu this story is very important and also interesting 😉😉《❤♡❤》

Aug. 7, 2022, 9:58 a.m.

Latest Reply
Cindy

True🥺

Thembi

Yes 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Marry

Yes i agree

Skhumbuzo

Mmmmmmmm💞

July 29, 2022, 5:45 a.m.

Latest Reply
Precioushlatshwayo46

Hi

Don

My day was nice and good 💅💅

July 28, 2022, 5:13 p.m.

Latest Reply
Nomsa

It well

Mashangase

That so nice

Don

Sane my name is still Sixishe the app wanted to make a new one ✍️👂🤲🙌🏿🙌

July 28, 2022, 5:11 p.m.

Don

Hi sane you are a good person maybe we can open a group on Moya app 💖💗💖💗

July 28, 2022, 5:09 p.m.

Latest Reply
Ntombizethu

Yeah u right let's share app tenz

Nomthawelanga

Please nami cela ningifaka

Mashangase

Yes

Marry

Yah please add me

Mihle_

Pls add me too

Sane

No is mean no

July 28, 2022, 10:46 a.m.

Sane

Bathathe mtase when you say No is enough And I'm new I need Friend someone to talk to him plz🤗🤭

July 28, 2022, 10:45 a.m.

Latest Reply
Ntombizethu

Im right here

Nomthawelanga

Hi am new too.....but ngikhona girl

Amierh

Ok here's my number 0790583937 text me anytime

Amierh

Ok here's my number 0790583937 text me anytime

Nomthawelanga

Here is my number 0612898953

Busi

Me too..

Marry

I'm here 0796375335

Mihle_

Hi

Mihle_

My tenz are 0637316455

Sane

Hey sixishe it was nice your day how was

July 28, 2022, 10:42 a.m.

Sixishe

Hi girls how was your day 🍓at school 🍓

July 27, 2022, 1:45 p.m.

Sixishe

Hi Amierh

July 27, 2022, 1:40 p.m.

Latest Reply
Amierh

Hi how are you ❤

Mashangase

Address

Mashangase

Sorry it mistake

Sixishe

Please can you send me maseges I am so brod.

July 26, 2022, 7:16 p.m.

Latest Reply
Amierh

Hi

Omolemo

Hi 🙋🙋

Mashangase

Hi

Sixishe

P

July 26, 2022, 7:14 p.m.

Sixishe

You can call me Mimi.

July 26, 2022, 6:55 p.m.

Sixishe

Guys are you not wanting to talk to me ??!

July 26, 2022, 6:55 p.m.

Latest Reply
Ntombizethu

Hey

Amierh

Hey gal❤💛

Mihle_

Hii

Sixishe

Guys am 11years old.😘🍑

July 26, 2022, 6:46 p.m.

Latest Reply
Mashangase

Metoo

Nomthawelanga

Me too

Sixishe

Hi my name is Ntombenhle but they call me Mimi.I am new

July 26, 2022, 6:35 p.m.

Latest Reply
Amierh

Hi u welcome💖

Lalitha

My body my Rules ❤️ I have a right to say No 🙅 I have a voice to say No 🙅 I have a mouth to speak out Loud and say No 🙅 Actually No means No.🙅

July 26, 2022, 2:20 a.m.

Latest Reply
hasinum

Go girl yes that's right Bathathe mntase 💋😍✌️

Fikilwe

Thats morr lyk it💣🗯💜❣🕳

Lindelwa_Leerh

*Hey guyz.I'm new.Yes guyz no means no♡🤞!

July 24, 2022, 11:35 a.m.

Latest Reply
Ndalo

Yes sister❤️🦋🤗

Rea_13

Hi my name is Rea i am new here i was hoping we could be friends here is my number 0747061642

July 24, 2022, 10:59 a.m.

Latest Reply
Mashangase

How old you

Mihle_

Hey grl

Nomhle

Yes guyz no means no🤞😔😁🔥

July 24, 2022, 9:36 a.m.

Latest Reply
Lindelwa_Leerh

Hi can you give me your number.Ohh by the way i'm Lindelwa and how old are you?

Amierh

0790583937

Lucy

Hi guys do you know 100sky

July 23, 2022, 7:46 p.m.

Hlonib._.kind13.

No means no guys🤞

July 23, 2022, 2:14 p.m.

Hlonib._.kind13.

Hi my name is hloni I am new her and I am turning 12 this year my number is 0685583242

July 23, 2022, 2:06 p.m.

Latest Reply
kind._boo19

Hello hloni

Lisenathi

I agree with you No means NO!!😭❤️

July 22, 2022, 5:26 p.m.

Latest Reply
Hlonib._.kind13.

True no mean no

Good

Hey guys do know lebogang

July 21, 2022, 3 a.m.

Latest Reply
Lucy

No 😳😳

Lisenathi

No why what happened to him or her

Lucy

Hi my name is Lucy 💗💗

July 20, 2022, 4:22 p.m.

Latest Reply
Sane

Hy

Reatlegile

NO MEANS NO GUYS 🤞

July 20, 2022, 3:09 p.m.

Nandini

Yes no means no 😉😉

July 18, 2022, 9:43 p.m.

Kenny

Gays don't matter because they are still boys

July 15, 2022, 11:13 a.m.

Latest Reply
Nomthawelanga

No means no guys yohhh

Bronwin

Yes

Markovic

And also when the guy says no, it means no aswell yet women throw tantrums about it and blame guys for it

MACHOBANE

Yes,No means no boys need to understand and respect girl's body

July 14, 2022, 10 a.m.

Latest Reply
Kenny

Right if they don't respect your body break up

Budila

No means No why can't boys understand no💔

July 13, 2022, 6:50 a.m.

Jinx

Once a boy touched my privet part and I reported him to the teachers thankfuly my class suppored me

July 12, 2022, 7 p.m.

Latest Reply
Tshenolo

I always knew boys were from another planet that's why they don'ts understand the meaning of NO!!

Tshenolo

Here is my number u are not the only one who is 11 years old I am 12 0769943414

Kenny

Am also 11 year old

Kenny

Here's my number 0812828381

Tshedza

I'm 12years to

Bronwin

I am 11to

Bronwin

I am 11to

100sky

Don't worry

100sky

If you need more support here's my number 0604531920

Rukya

U are right Tshenolo boy's don't understand the meaning of no bcs when they see the word no they just see question marks??? Or numbers n they like what is no n wht does it mean 🤔🤔 I wonder which world/planet are they lost in

Jinx

Thanks for your support ❤️❤️

Lucy

Oh my goodness

Rukya

@Jinx don't worry we are all girls right there's no problem in supporting another girl peace out 😎😎😉

Ncumisa

I'm twelve here's my number 0787352439

Sane

I'm 13yrz

Mashangase

11

Mihle_

13

Rorisang

Yay guys no means no🥺

July 10, 2022, 7:01 p.m.

Latest Reply
Asheilgh

Hi can I have your numb

Rorisang

Yay gu

July 10, 2022, 6:53 p.m.

Shapo

Hi guys❤..no!!is no!!

July 10, 2022, 5:24 p.m.

Sweetie

No means no If a boy touches u say no If a girl touches u say no It's my private thing no one has the right to touch you

July 9, 2022, 5:04 p.m.

Latest Reply
Rorisang

Ya you are right girls like to touch girls private things and say what I'm also a girl too😏

Bronwin

You are totally right

Sweetie

Sry to ask silly question do we have boys or it's girls only

July 9, 2022, 5:01 p.m.

Latest Reply
Preet

I think so even boys are permitted to be in this website I don't know why this was supposed to be a girl thing

Rorisang

I don't know 🤷

Zoe

I say it's so great that it's only for girls cuz if it was a topic about perods or something like that you wouldn't feel comfortable sharing your story with boys would you?

Ntebaleng

I think we have a girl's only ♥️

Malebana

But there could be gays also

Kenny

It's girls only

Bronwin

We are all girl's .. right

100sky

I think here's only girls but there was ones a boy called love here on so maybe here's boys

Ncumisa

Yeah I also think it is girls only,👩‍⚖️🧸❤️❤️❣️❣️🥺😘🔐

Princess

You're ryt darling 🤣

@Lisa.com

Nah as nah

July 8, 2022, 9:45 p.m.

Shalom

Hie guys I'm new here Pls help what are you all talk about

July 6, 2022, 8:13 p.m.

Shalom

No means no Hie guys I'm new here Pls help what are you all talk about

July 6, 2022, 8:13 p.m.

.yamkela_432

.hello ya'll ✌️✌️ I am lazbin 🏳️‍🌈 so I didn't know 🤷 if I can join📥 this group or what??

July 5, 2022, 10:09 p.m.

Latest Reply
Tintswalo2808_

No lazbin anyone can join as long as you are a girl❤

Asheilgh

Yohh geez so u wrote I am a girl anyways do u change your self these say 😮

Malebana

Hi i am bisexual..., 😩i cant believe i just admitted to that... So we can talk on 0658011821

Kenny

I Am lazbian

100sky

It doesn't matter if you lesbian at least your a girl

Tshepiside2

Then the whole school laughed at me even the teachers except mine. Then that boy lied to the whole school and said that I raped him. But then I told my teacher about everything. My classmates did not even laugh at me because they know that I love my virginity and then he was expelled from the school. Now I have learned to speak up and defend myself because if I didn't I would have gotten expelled for no reason so now I am actually 9 years old still in primary school

July 4, 2022, 8:24 p.m.

Latest Reply
@Lisa.com

#GIRL POWER ✌😎💕

Jinx

HI I'M 11 AND I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN PRIMARY SCHOOL

Rukya

Same here 🤪🤪😜

Kenny

Same here ☝🏻🤚🏻💖💖

Bronwin

I am also still in primary school and 11years old

Tshedza

Me 12and still in primary school

100sky

I am 10 years old so I am in primary school to

Lauren

I agree na means na.!!!

July 3, 2022, 8:51 a.m.

Latest Reply
@Lisa.com

U know it girl

Busi

I agree too girl💜 #power girls🔥💜💖

Bronwin

Yes bous no means no!!!

Reatlegile

Yah no means no

Tintswalo_2808

There is this man who lives nere my house everytime when i was waiting for my transport he comes outside and touch my private part . But one day someone saw him and saved me

July 2, 2022, 10:21 p.m.

Latest Reply
@Lisa.com

Why didn't u report him girl 🤔no offence

Olerato

Ya lisa@.com no offence

Bronwin

You are right lisa

Busi

Guys I was hoping that we must remain together in bad and in good Let's support each other guys we won't judge you 👑👀 I am right or what guys trust me .....

Zinhle

No means no!!!

July 1, 2022, 6:17 p.m.

Chuma

Noo!means Noo! 🙅🏻🙅🏻🙅🏻

June 28, 2022, 10:48 a.m.

Latest Reply
Olerato

Hi is this chuma from silverfields

Lelethu

No is No!!! that's my Final añsawer

June 26, 2022, 10:24 p.m.

Latest Reply
Chuma

Me too no is final to mee🙏🏻🤨

Ze2

Girls r always taught to be polite but if ur being sexually harassed speak up👆

June 16, 2022, 4:28 a.m.

Sometimes

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

the sex is nice so i don't see a reason why a person should say no girls come on your future husband will live u and go and have sex with someone else while you u don't want to give him and it not about his needs it also about your needs sex is wonderful and it very good it makes your mind function well so have sex even if it everyday they is no problem

I once treated badly to un en extended of a rape becz I Coulddnt say NO,he was my boy friend old den me. I was afraid to tell people bcz he was my boyfriend but at the end I learned that if u do not say yes its a rape n evn if its ur boyfriend he has no right to take what's not he's. I lost my virginity bcz of dat coward boy. But know when I say NO I say it if a man don't get what am say am just ready for any action he might fnk of trying

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

i got a brother when,his drunk ,he always like touching ma private areas si everytime when he touches my mind am,scared to speak out m even scared to tell my mother about it and everyone at the hood thinks that he is a cool,brother you know the brother role play overproctive and stuff sometimes he,would text telling me he was to be my sex mate #siblings with benefits

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

Thank you for sharing your story. It's a really brave first step. Talking to a trusted adult is really important as it's hard to tackle this stuff on your own. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can call Childline free on 08000 55 555. Or you can chat to a counsellor on-line - just go to www.childlinesa.org.za and click on "Talk to Us". Well done for speaking out and we hope you get the help you need soon.

We are keeping this comment private for safety reasons.

Bronwin

You should tell you more about this

100sky

You must report him and tell your mother

Lucy

You are right 100sky

I just feel bad when my partner starts thinking I don't trust her when I refuse to be touched on my private part...

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

No u don't need to feel bad just be urself and play nice

Are u a guy?

Tintswalo_2808

Are you a guy??😱😱😱😱😱

Tshepiside2

Guys there is no problem if this guy refuses to be touched by his private part maybe he doesn't feel comfortable when she does that. So guys let me give you some advice: Don't judge a book by its cover and also we are girls some of us are tough some are still learning so NO MEANS NO💪💪👊

100sky

I agree with even it's a guy we mustin judge hime

Sometimes when I said no with my partner, to him its like he is not a good guy for me or I am having another guy that I said YES with everything he want But now I know that No means No and no one can ever force me with things I really don't like

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

Good Asanele keep it that way

The ability no means no and even if u are scared and expecting for help and there is no help for you Then it is your duty to stand up for yourself and say no or do something and run away.......

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

No means no they must respect that even if is your partner

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

But those partners of today are very stubborn

But those partners of today are very stubborn

No means cha maeeee

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

Injalo mae

Mandy can u give mieh yr tenz

There was this guy who wanted to sleep with me,and I eventually said no,he was angry and began to tell the skool he slept with me ....😿and everyone was looking at me,but I spoke out and told everyone the truth😾thats because I had the guts to speak out🙌🙋

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

It's so in inspiring to know you didn't allow someone to lie about you and that you could speak up and tell the truth. That's great.

Tshepiside2

There was this guy who had a crush on me so one day he sent me two letters. One said I must meet with him behind the toilets at break and the other one wrote "You must probably think of something sexy" and it had a condom in it so then yhe first thing that came up to my mind was that this guy wants to have sex with me. So at break time I went behind the toilets and found him there then he eventually pulled me and pinned me against the wall and kissed me while he was busy undressing me until I was left with my undergarments on. So then he said that he didn't know that I would look so sexy for the surprise then he undressed himself until he was naked. Then he put the condom on his 🍆 and then he took a picture of it them sent it to the whole school then he took a picture of me in my undergarments and did the same thing. Then before he could ever begin I shouted as loud as I could and said NO!Then I quickly dressed myself up

14blessing

WOW you are a super girl shem yoh you are so brave

These guys out here acting dumb, like they don't know what NO actually means.. No means No!'

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

This happened to me last week...Like this guy I thought he was a friend more like a brother I never had...So we at his place...chilling and chating...all of sudden he changed started kissing me making me feel uncomfortable :(..I tried stopping him and I said No but he didn't stop....like I don't understand why some guys are so pushy...but thank GOD he stopped :)

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

Yeah...Boo that also happened to me. I was walking to my bus stop and I saw my friend. He is in matric and I was done with the paper I was writting for the day, we went together since we stay at the same area. He took me to his crib and he offered me something to drink and I said no thanks. He pick me up and he was kissing me and leading me to his bed. He lied to me and he said he wasn't home alone. I felt like to cry and he was so high after the weed he smoked. I'm glad he stop because that day i could be raped...But I also thank God.😊

Yeah Thank God nothing happened

yh......neh

but u have to help him is ur b.f

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

well guys I went to visit my bf not knowing hes cuzin was there en friend well I greeted them en went to hez room then things happened he said he wanted to use the bathroom after he left hez cuzin got in naked en he manipulated me into having sex with him then the friend got in I said no but he kept pushing en then he finally stopped ps there were high all of them now um afraid of being in a room with boys even my relatives

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

Thank you for sharing your story. It's a really brave first step. Talking to a trusted adult is really important as it's hard to tackle this stuff on your own. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can call Childline free on 08000 55 555. Or you can chat to a counsellor on-line - just go to www.childlinesa.org.za and click on "Talk to Us". Well done for speaking out and we hope you get the help you need soon.

We are keeping this comment private for safety reasons.

Hlonib._.kind13.

Wow 😳😱😯

What are the chances of you getting pregnant if the condom didn't break ?

March 20, 2022, 9:01 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hi Springster, If the condom did not break then the chances of you falling pregnant are very slim to none. It is highly unlikely so don't stress about it.

Thank you Gabi ♡

no means yes sometimes

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

Latest Reply

No never means yes Springster. Say what you mean and mean what you say!

sometimes we can be unsure of what we want as we are teenagers our feelings are mixed up we dont knw what we want or feeling but a no has to be bold nd show that on ur face

Sweet--ie

No idiot it means NO!!

I agree with u pretty sometimes no means yes

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

Latest Reply

In which instance would no mean yes?

Sweet--ie

Go check your dictionary!!

NO MEANS NO!! END OF THE STORY! !!

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

Sometimes that NO turns out to be YES coz that's how most of the guys sees it

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hi Springster. No never means yes. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

No Means No BoSwiri n If he Don't Get It DAT Means he Respect U At Ol

I told my bae, that I don't wanna have sex anymore cause of some reasons. I told him why but he doesn't understand. He said that he is too young and he can't stop having sex, so it's either I have sex with him or I allow him to have sex with other girls. What is the right thing to do?

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hi Grace12, I would advise you follow you gut. Relationships are about compromise so if you're bae can't respect your decision and he decides to cheat then he doesn't deserve you. Stick to your decision and don't let him bully you into doing things that make you uncomfortable. Good luck

You should just leave him, he doesn't deserve or respect you. If he did he would have respected your decision. He doesn't even love you. My best advice girl, is to dump him and move on. It's not the end.

Choice is yours to make yourself happy or you make others but you have to know is not everybody who will makes you happy because you've done everything to them some will appreciate but others never

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

I had to actually break up with my boyfriend and blamed myself just because I refused to have sex with him and he'd say I don't love him and make me feel guilty

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

Latest Reply

Kendell darling don't feel bad K

ii dumped my ex bcz he wanted to have sex wit me so that our relationship can last longer...😶😥

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Good you stood up for what you want. That was a very brave and mature decision Springster.

I was dating a guy for 10 months he told me i have to sleep with him so that our relationship should be a " full package" I refused so i lost him and i loved him so much. But i guess he wasn't worth it.

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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10 months is a short period of time n its not like he was already your shoulder to cry on your soul mate n wat so ever... U were still getting to know each other n if u were worth it babe he wouldn hav left u.

Hi Springster. You're right, if he left you because you weren't ready to have sex with him then he definitely wasn't the one. There are guys out there willing to wait but until then I suggest you focus on achieving your own goals and living your best life, single or not. I'm proud that you stuck to your word and didn't give in just because he left. Good for you!

ahh he wasn't serious however things like this does confuse me I rather date gals than boys bcz its seems like I have to see a lot when growing up

I'm 16 and have been in a relationship for as long as I can remember. Now the guy I'm dating was my first boyfriend ever and I've never dated anyone else ....but here's the problem , he occasionally asks me to have sex with him and my answer is always the same , I'm not ready , so he pretends to understand and respect my decision and life goes on ,but behind my back he sleeps with other girls and denies it whenables I ask him about it . So I want to know whether I should stay with him or just move on? 'Cause I'm very confused and Imy not sure of what I should do because he claims to love me

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Relationships are a full time job, if u not committed ul obviously fail. U still young to be in a serious relationship. Its only Normal your bae is asking for sex cos u always tell him u lov him too. My advice stay out of relationships focus on your school work until u old enough n willing to commit. Sex is part n parcel of love so if u truly lov him ul tel him to giv u a break to focus on your school work otherwise many things will go wrong in your life...

Hey Springster. Saying no might seem impossible or scary. But doing it right now will not be your choice. It will be for him. And that’s not okay. Write down a list of reasons why you’re not ready and practice your answers, like being scared of pregnancy, being unsure about your feelings, or wanting to wait until you’re little bit older. If he's cheating on you then you should break up with him because he cannot wait for you and is being unfaithful. You should focus on achieving your goals and having sex only when you're comfortable and ready.

Just let him go because the day he sleeps with you,you might be at risk for getting sexually transmitted diseases please be safe

Jessica

It obviously leave him because he doesn't care about you u know boys take advantage of girls and l don't like that pls do the right decision

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months n now he says he wants to have sex wit me i told him i ain't t ready, now he is cheating on me worst part he even told my czn that he is cheating n that he shouldn't tell me i think i should just throw the mnths in a bin n move on

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Babe. Its an obvious thing that he ended up cheating on u,sex its part n parcel in a relationship n in sumway it strengthens your relationship. I mean 10months is a long time n wats the use of waiting tht long cos at the end of the day ul have to see with him. There is no time to be ready, u are never ready for sex... U jus had to seat him down n told him if it was your first time n told him to be gentle or rather u guys talk about u not feeling the same way n jus separate with him. Guys don't like waiting for a long time its either u in the relationship n u commit with every bit or u jus stay single. Girls like putting the blame on the guys n saying guys put pressure on us girls but that's not true. If u don't wanna b in a relationship then don't cos if u say u lov him -son how u have to show your lov to him by having sex with him-

Hi Flow, my advise is to let him go especially because he couldn't remain faithful to you. I do not agree with Muhleza's opinion about sex being part and parcel of a relationship. IT is not your fault that he's decided to cheat instead of waiting until you're ready. Never do anything that you are uncomfortable with, especially not sex. It is a very big step and should not be decided upon lightly. I say let him go and focus on achieving your own goals for yourself. There are guys out there willing to wait as long as it takes for you to be comfortable and you don't have to compromise your feelings for someone who won't wait for you!

thnx Gabi :-*

I have be dating a guy who always beat me and always rape me and always lock me in his room

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Hi Springster. Thank you for being brave and sharing your comment with us. It's very mature of you to seek help, this must be a very difficult time for you. It's important for you to know that what's happening to you is in no way your fault and that you speaking out can help you find a solution. You shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who assaults you. Have you thought about speaking to someone you can trust like a family member , friend, mentor or teacher. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can call Childline SA. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Contact them if you feel scared, alone or if youre being harmed and just need someone to listen to you. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website:http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

I have been dating with this guy and his a bit older than me en we started dating not long ago and suddenly he changed and told me that he no longer wants to use protection because there is no fluid that's coming out of ma virgana during sex and that hurt me because he also says that it doesn't matter because I won't even fall pregnant

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Hey Lue. Don't be sad, there are ways around this and none of them include sex without a condom. I'd recommend you continue using condoms because they protect you from pregnancy, STIs and HIV. You can use water-based lube if you're experiencing dryness. You should also consider if you want to continue a relationship with someone who says things to you that hurt your feelings. Good luck

thank you to everybody who join us

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

hey I need advice. me and my we are dating,it's 8 months dating now.but the problem is when we get in the. she doesn't want to have sex with me.we will kiss and when I start taking her clothes off she refuses,she says it's to early for us to have sex.please help what should I do?

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Hi Springster. It's simple! Wait until she's ready. Taking your relationship to the next level is a serious move so maybe have the conversation with her and ask her to tell you when she's ready, that way you won't be disappointed when she says no and you can respect her decision to wait. Good luck!

u should wait for her...coz its not an easy thing to just have sex...and u should support her no matter what... even if she doesn't want to have sex for now..u should be patient with her

Ask her opinions on the topic and if she's not ready wait for her ....It will definitely be worth it if you wait ##

Ameerah

Have sex with me

But she didn't say no when we were chatting

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

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Hi Springster. A girl is entitled to change her mind at anytime. She owns her body and she decides if she is ready or not.

But she didn't say no when we were chatting

March 20, 2022, 9 p.m.

Maybe she's not ready to have sex yet...

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi Kira. If a girl says no she shouldn't be convinced otherwise. She needs to be 100% ready before taking the next step.

But wat happens if u are in the middle of sexual intercourse and then u say stop then the guy doesn't stop is it called sexual abuse?

Guy my bf raped me and he is a gangster. He threatened to kill me or do it over and over again. Police people don't believe me.Wat must I do.plz answer ASAP

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi Mpumie. Thank you for sharing this with us, it's very brave of you and we're sorry you're having to go through this experience. It's important for you to know that what's happening is in no way your fault. I'm sorry that when you told the police they didn't believe you. We believe you and think you have taken an amazing first step by telling us. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can call Childline SA. The service is completely confidential - you don't even need to give them your name if you don't want to. They will help you think through your options and work out what the best next steps are - you can do this over the phone, in person and online. You can contact them any time of the day or night on their Toll Free Helpline on 08 000 55 555 or check out their website: http://www.childlinesa.org.za where you can contact them online. You don't need to deal with this alone.

No means No and you dont have to do anything you dont want to so dont let anyone push you into doing anything you dont want to..good luck

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

Hey girls I just want to say whenever you decide to have sex please be careful of guys that remove the condom during intercourses without your consent .Make sure whoever you decide to have sex with ,you are comfortable with him that you can voice your concerns and say no to things you don't like or things you're not comfortable with.Always be alert and your safety comes first.💖💖

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi kanye. Thanks so much for the advice.

Same here I also had a guy who used a condom on the first round then told me he can't feel it properly then he removed the condom and we did it with flesh and he came on me very hardly and it felt like the cum was burning something in me

Hi girls all I want to say that you must not be afraid to say no it is ur right

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Thanks for that Okgabile .

I have been dating this guy 4 a while now. He's 8 yrz older. He asked me to have sex with him. I dont know if I am ready or not. I feel weird and awkward when we talk about this topic. What should I do

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi Springster. Thank you for sharing. I understand your hesitation - sex is serious and you shouldn't start having sex because you are feeling pressure from your boyfriend. You should only have sex when you are ready and when it feels right. Tell your boyfriend about your fears and that you aren't ready. If he loves you - he will wait.

Hi guys 3years ago i was raped by my cousins n they were doing it each and everyday i couldn't talk bcoz they told me if i tell anyone they will kill me so I decided to stay somewhere and now I can't stop thinking about what they were doing to me even this year it got worse n I got raped again now I feel lyk I've already seen it all I can't do it anymore I just wish I can kill myself Now I have told my family n I didn't tell them who did rape me cause im scared that they will kill me Plz what should i do??

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi Feemay. Thank you for being brave and sharing your comment with us. It's very mature of you to seek help, this must be a very difficult time for you. It's important for you to know that what happened was in no way your fault and that you speaking out can help you heal. If you're not yet ready to talk to your family, consider telling a friend, mentor or teacher. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can call Childline SA. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Contact them if you are depressed, feel alone or are scared and just need someone tot listen to you. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Check out their website:http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

Ywah its true ppl take advantage don't let ppl take advantage bcoz u allowed one the whole squad will want to try to do what the first one did

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

my boyfriend invited me at his house So he wanted to have sex with me but I refused now he doesn't talk to me.. have I done something wrong by saying no coz we have dated for 2 weeks?

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Hi marcia. Thanks for your comment. No you didn't do anything wrong. I'm actually proud that you stood up for yourself and said no to something you weren't ready for. He doesn't deserve you and you should consider cutting ties with him because he doesn't respect you and seems like sex is all he wanted. Move on knowing you dodged a bullet. You'll find someone who is willing to wait around until you're ready.

Guys my ex bae is nuts he says that he wanna have sex but Im not ready so he went and had sex with 3 girls and one same time same bedroom and you won't believe how good I feel about letting a sex maniac go I feel GOOD

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Good for you Springster! Never let anyone pressure you into sex if you aren't ready or comfortable.

Hlw gals...well am 16 n I always dump my bfs whenever thy are asking me to hv sex wiv thm ...I dnt lyk dating now I rather stay single n focus on my books ...GALS DNT BE FOOLED BY THE WORDS"I LUV UU" NO ONE CAN LUV UU MORE THN THY LUV THEMSELVES ...U DNT NEED TO SECRIFICE UR BODY TO BE LOVED LUV URSELF MORE...

March 20, 2022, 8:59 p.m.

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Very true

hy guys I've been wth this guy since 2016 n I lv him a lot bt nw when we are having sex it not the same as before I get bored n I don't concentrate on what we are doing.....I want to found out what the cause of that ..

Hi guys I'm Chani I had a boyfriend we dated for a year,i don't drink and smoke and love being at home most of the time,while in a relationship with this guy he would spoil me and cheer me up when I'm sad,but one day his ex-gf got my number at a friend of hers and sent me a message telling me that I stole her baby's dad and faked her pregnancy,after a week or so he started to became aggressive and demanded sex and got angry when I said no...I forgave him every time he did it,but one day he spited me and went back to his ex-gf and slept with her while in a relationship...A friend told me when I asked him to be honest he went away and I dumped him... And now I'm happy being single and in a relationship

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

Hi guys am kidgong am a guy I dnt knw if guys a allows in this springster I have a problem with a girl....she is my classmate nd I hv a crush on her I dnt knw wat do nd am also afraid to tell her how much I feel abt her am scared tht she might not feel there same way as me I would like to get ur assistance guys plz help me out

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Hi kidgong it's better to tell that gal that u have a crush on her because she is gonna date other guys and u won't like seeing them at the corner kissing so better u tell her ANOTHER THING BOYS ARE NOT ALLOWED

14blessing

Well girls are impressed by little things

hey guys I'm nonhla I've been dating this boyfriend of mine for 7 months now but all he wants it's to sleep with me while as I don't feel comfortable what should I do ???

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Tell him that u aren't ready. If he loves u he will understand but if he doesnt its his lose.

Tell him to wait n if he trully love you he wl understand

I am in a relationship with a guy whom I dated for 3months the he disappeared didn't call then came back to my life and explained then I forgave him...then after we reconciled about two weeks passed then he invited me to his house to watch a movie when I got there he tried to have sex with me but I said no...he apologized and escorted me home...but after that incident he distanced himself...and he only chats or call when he wants to meet and kiss that's it...I feel like he is using me and all he wants is to get me in bed..he often sweet talks his way out...I think it's time for me to end this relationship coz it's not healthy...girls please if it doesn't bring happiness to your life just leave it 💯💯

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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So cutie I understand that happiness matters in a relationship. So I told my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex so we ended thing I blocked him at my Facebook and WhatsApp when I unblocked him he blocked me too now I'm really missing him. I don't feel like going anyway I always look at his pics and our conversation I really missing him and I'm suffering inside 😟😟

Jus move on anonymous there is lots of pipi evrywer

hie guys am 26yrs,since i did not have sex is it normal

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Hi Springster, there's not time or age to have sex. When you are ready is the time. There's nothing wrong with you at all.

Hie guyz im 25 years old,im wirred i just had sex with my boifrnd and we ddnt use a condom but last week i just had my period am i pregnant or not plz help

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Mahlatse

U are not pregnant

hi guys ....im dating this guy and he once told me if am sexually active and i said no cos i ain't ready don't wanna have sex well he said i was kidding...and told me that love strengthens love and trust then we continued chatting and it seems like he wanna hve sex with me what i know abt him is that hes sexually active, i luv him but i dont wanna do it my question is dat do u think he loves me or jst wana take advantage of me??

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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tell him to cool down, and after that l...take a look, remember...body language....if he is really crus about u....he will understand your views

Aaaaaaaaaaa

i don't think that he loves you.. coz that's the exact words that my boyfriend told me. but as we speak now i told him that i don't want to have sex and he keeps on ignoring me he doesn't talk to me anymore

but Guys Uthando lwakhiwa I sex kuty libe Strong bathong

but Guys Uthando lwakhiwa I sex kuty libe Strong bathong

As a Guy, you have to know that everyone has a right to say no...e.g....sex or dates....just admit it when she says "No".

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Yes

thank you maketsi cos you understand that when a girl says no she means it and ig iy was possible you yo start a campaign with boys whereby you encourage each other to respect girls and their decisions

Hi

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

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Ys dear

Ay

March 20, 2022, 8:58 p.m.

Yes strongly agree wth tht No is No

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Yes power to DAT no is no

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Yes that's true as me fight about my body a just use the word stop because a know it was not the write thing for me as a teen....as I was riped a didn't give up on my self a go a head like nothing has happened the way I life its so free

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Hey guys,currently I'm new so there is this guy that I'm dating he always ask me to prove that I love him by allowing him to break my virginity and I have told him that I will give him when I'm ready but truly speaking I don't want to break my virginity because I want to break it when I'm happily married I will patiently wait for your advice😊

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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i have been having the same problem with my boyfriend.. he wants to break my virginity but he spends days without talking to me at all.. he has been demanding sex for over a year now.. we have been on and off with our relationship and every time we get back together he brings the topic of sex so neither do i know what to do... by the way i also want a bright future where i only have sex with one person and that is my husband to be.

If you see that is your bf want he doesn't even live you if he loves you he's gonna understand you girl

Hi Queen, sorry to say this but ur bf doesn't love u ..... he is only in it becoz of sex nothing else and wen he breaks ur virginity he is going to leave u and find sum1 who he loves and won't give her pressure to have sex with him He wants to do HIT AND RUN ..

Hi Queen, sorry to say this but ur bf doesn't love u ..... he is only in it becoz of sex nothing else and wen he breaks ur virginity he is going to leave u and find sum1 who he loves and won't give her pressure to have sex with him He wants to do HIT AND RUN ..

You can't have sex if you don't want

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

hy guys i'm 17 years and i have a lot of problem with my bf bcs he get angry if i did not want to sleep with her ,and i lov my bf a lot soh pls guys wht can i do or wht can i say to her ?to understood my situation??pls guys i need yr helo

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Kikiki so your boyfriend is a her

Ze2

Ur bf is a her?

hy guys i'm 17 years and i have a lot of problem with my bf bcs he get angry if i did not want to sleep with her ,and i lov my bf a lot soh pls guys wht can i do or wht can i say to her ?to understood my situation??pls guys i need yr help

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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You should only have sex when you want to, and when you are ready to; this is when you are able to give your consent. Sex must not be forced, like your bae pressuring you into it, threatening to dump you if you don’t do it or when you are under the influence of alcohol. Have you thought about a parent, older sibling, aunty, teacher or a professional who can offer you support? Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can call Childline SA. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. You don't need to give them your name and can contact them any time of the day or night. Contact them if you are scared, feel alone and if something is happening to you, or someone you know. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website: http://www.childlinesa.org.za, Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

Mxm the fact remains sum1 will break it.u say now ur husband nwe nwe until u meet tht guy tht u want to sleep with only 2 find out he is not even marriage material

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Hi Anony, yes eventually at some point if you consent you will break your virginity to someone. The important thing is that you get to decide who breaks your virginity and that you were comfortable in that moment.

EVen if some1 breaks ur V u would have agreed 2 it will be ur choice not forced . If u ain't doing or sayin nothing about it no one will stand up 4 u u have ur body power in u

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Hey Kalilelo, we appreciate you sharing your opinion with us. Remember that consent can be more complicated than you think. When someone has the courage within themselves and believes they have the right to say no, it is good for them to say this and push away someone who is forcing themselves on them. But sometimes the other person can be physically stronger or be threatening in a way that makes the person feel they are not in a safe environment and are unable to control the situation. This means the person is unable to speak out and stop anything from happening - this is not a consensual situation. There are also times when a person is too young to give consent or maybe too intoxicated. Situations can be different and it's important for all of us to educate ourselves more about consent, so that we can stand up for those who have been victimised. Perhaps you can read up more on consent and tell us if you have learnt anything new? We appreciate you shedding light on the issue of consent. Thank you Springster.

Hey everyone I'm new here I would like to get an advice about this : my classmate was crushing on me since 10 till now he always come to my desk an greets me an staff like that so now I'm the one who is crushing on him I don't know what to do must I go tell him or what ? 🙈

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Hey sisters I'm turning 20 this year i've started dating after my matric because i come from a very strictly family especially my mom i never had sex before or kissing a boy in my life and the problem is this guy i'm dating now us very commited to the relationship we arw having so as sisters i need a bit advices on how to kiss.... N for sex i'm still not ready

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

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Hi Mandylane, we are glad to know that you know you are not ready for sex yet. It's really important to be at a place where you feel confident about whether you want to or not and there are so many things to think about like the risks of pregnancy, STI's and the emotional implications that come with sex afterwards. Remember to let your bae know where you stand when it comes to having sex. You have a right to say no and stand your ground and be honest with bae. As to your question about kissing, there really is no strict rule book for kissing. It's meant to be natural and you and your bae will know what feels good for the both of you. Make sure to ask him questions and let him know what you're comfortable with or what's right for you. All the best Springster

Hi ,i agree with that because i my like a baby ,i have never kiss ,hug or even sex in my life and I am proud of myself

Wow that gives the power for girls to rise many girls can't say no they fall under bad things because they try to make other people happy while they can't make themselves happy

March 20, 2022, 8:57 p.m.

Hey I'm 18 years and doing my grade 12 ....I have with my bf for 3years and never had sex coz I keep in saying no ...reason is that I'm not ready but my bf has been patient in all the way now he's insisting that he can't take the feeling anymore he need to have it .But I'm not ready... What should I do??? Pliz need answers as soon as possible pliiiizz.

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Eu225, you should only have sex when YOU want to, and when you are ready to; this is when you are able to give your consent. Sex must not be forced, like your bae pressuring you into it or threatening to dump you if you don’t do it. You should never have sex just to keep your partner happy or because you feel pressured for other reasons. Also, people have different needs and wants in a relationship, so if your views about having sex clash with your partner then you have to have a conversation with him/her. If you can’t come to any agreements and you feel like you have to do things when you don’t feel ready then this might not be the right time for you and your partner to be together. If you feel like you have more questions to ask you can call Love Life on 0 8 0 0 1 2 1 9 0 0 or send them a ‘please call me’ on this number 0 8 3 3 2 3 1 0 2 3.

Tel him to wait for the right time /run away with u pride dear

gal just say to him u want a breakup then u'll come to him when u r ready bcz now its like he's not satisfyed and if he's yo love life or the right guy for u he'll wait for u definetily

Continue saying u are not ready

gal still say nö

make him understand

Helo guys um new hear and am17 .I have been dating a guy for 7yrs and never had sex .t I love him more than he do.I sacrifice everything I have for him BT he never appreciate. When I realize that he was taking me for granted that when I decide to breakup with him BT the issue bothering me is that I can't move on I still love him.wat can I do help plis😔

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hey Vincennes, firstly welcome Springster! Hope you'll have loads of fun here .Things happen. People change. People grow apart. Part of growing up means realising that we can’t control the way other people act; we can only control our reaction to other people. It’s okay to grieve when someone hurts you. Breaking up with someone is awful — but it’s also important to let go of bitterness and negativity. Try to take it one day at a time and eventually you will feel much better and stronger.

gal he does not appreciate what u've done for him that means he dont love u,meaning u r the only1 whose inlove in this relationship so my advice to u keep yourself busy like playing sport everyday just to clear your mind.

Lyf goes on you gonna find someone you love than him!!👊💖💕

You've never had sex with him but it's hard to let go that means if you'll guys happened to have sex you would have had no choice but to put up with his crap.I think you did yourself a favour by breaking up with him all you need to do now is to move on with your life

i sLept wIth thiS bOy we aNd we haD unProTecTed sex aNd nOw i thinK im pregnant we had sex at the street now i regret it

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hey Mamaland, although this is unexpected, there are places and people who can help you, so don’t panic! The sooner you get help the better. It would be best to go to a clinic or doctor. You will be tested for HIV, which comes with a counselling session given before and after testing. You also have to consider other STIs. It can take 1 to 2 weeks before the signs of infection show. So, you will need to go back to the clinic to get tested. You can also take a pregnancy test at the clinic to find out whether or not you are pregnant. It is important to use condoms each time you have sex because condoms prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. They are free at public clinics and hospitals, and must be used properly.

hey everyone am confused about what to decide my man wants to have sex with me and I told him that i'll have it when i'm married but he refused to understand then I said he should break up with me then and if he love me really he must wait for me ,he dont want that either and its like he's forcing me to do things i don't wanna do just for his sake but I love him.

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hey Snellz, never do anything you don't want to do because of someone. Don't be afraid to say no!!

Hey everyone I'm new here and I desperately need your help...well I'm dating this guy he's 24 years old and i'm 19 years old ..me and this guy we have been dating for like 3 years from now and the situation is tense lately because he constantly talks about sex, and each time I tell him I'm not ready he just lose interest of communicating with me ...I'm still a virgin and I wanna keep it that way until I'm 21 so I'm confused because the next minutes he's into me and then suddenly lose interest..

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hi Springster. The right time to have sex is when YOU feel ready. Saying no might seem impossible or scary right now and the only reason you'd want to do it is to keep your partner happy and that’s not okay! Write down a list of reasons why you’re not ready, like being scared of pregnancy, being unsure about your feelings, or wanting to wait until you’re little bit older, and practice your answers. Let’s say he says you should do it if you really love him. What do you say to that? Try this one: if you loved me, you would respect my decision to wait!

Thank you....❤

hey am new here am 22 years old I was rape at 13 and since then I never slept with a guy since then so am still scare to do sex and my boyfriend keep asking me why I don't want to have sex with him course I told him I ain't a virgin please I need help

Losing your virginity at the age of 21 is your goal,two more years to go don't throw away all those years you've spent trying to keep your strawberry away from guys like him

Everyone has their right to say No but how can u say no to something that can destroy your relationship My name is annelise and im 21 years old My boyfriend we have been together for 7 months but he started putting pressure on me by wanting a baby ,He has a kid with another women and they broke up now he want a baby with me and now im starting worrying why havnt i fall pregnant yet because since day 1 we never used condoms and he is getting furious at me everytime when im on my periods Im confused i dont want a child but he insints and threatining to leave me im afraid i might be Loosing him already I dont want a child but the way he insisting he even made me to wish to have a child because of this confussion he has brought apon my life Please help me .Tell me what to do

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hi Annelise, no one should force you to have a baby when you don't want to whether you love that person or not, you and your boyfriend should visit a clinic near you and receive advise on family planning and also I think your relationship its still new so you shouldn't rush anything.

Hy anelisa what would I advice you is that: gal have a baby whenever you are ready💖💖

True

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Why uthi no to a guy ? Are you saying we as guys should get it somewhere else?

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Yey wena slima...can't u see ukuthi asfan as galz?? If i don't wanna sleep with you i don't want to futh it's your choice. Uf umjitha akafun ukukumamela that means akakuthandi

You guys are such headaches ... N you think you own us tht why u tend to make us do things we aint comfortable to do.You just know tht you'll use the word "I LOVE YOU" and we'll do whatever u want us to do 😖😖...Guys tht is so CRUEl

Hey Weezyx, we think it's important that every person should respect another person's decision to say no to sex. Sex is a personal choice and no one should feel ashamed or afraid to say no to sex if they are not ready. We hope this makes sense to you.

hi am Amourey and am 19 my boyfriend always touch in my Virginia when we kissing when i tell him to stop he say what's wrong with touching coz am still a virgin he wont do anything stupid what should i do

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hello Amourey Always remember that you have every right to say no. No one should make you do anything that you don 't want to. If you feel that you don't like it when he touches you then you should talk to him and let him know. Remember that if ever you need someone to talk to you can call the Childline at 08 000 55 555 and talk to a professional and this is if there is no one whom you can talk to. We are always here if you have questions Springster.

Hii guys i'm 15 years old...Well there is this dude i have been dating for a while now Actually me and him have been together last year but we broke up then git back together again so recently the dude gas been telling people ne and him are not dating anymore .....and honestly i feel broken because i really really lice this dude 💞 Yeah so guys i need your advice. ..... What should i do ??

I need to go far away away from my boyfriend in other words i don't wanna be with him anymore because when he feel like he want to meet me hlhe just command he doesn't check if am busy with my things or what in fact he doesn't even want to know he just want me to pitch up where he is So i need help on how i can tell him that am done being with him cause he force me to do things i don't like and we've been together for almost 4 years now Am now tired of his ways Please help me on this..

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Hi I am molebogeng I am 17 years old my boyfriend like to touch me in my Virginia when we kissing I don't know why

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hello 2336 We understand that this must be hard for you to understand and it is okay. No one has a right to touch you anyhow especially if you are not comfortable with it. If you don't like how your boyfriend touches you then tell him not to. If ever you feel that there is something that you don't understand feel free to ask us. It can also be an adult whom you trust. Childline offers guidance if you would feel safer talking to a professional, you can call them at 08 000 55 555

Hey,im a 19year old girl and i lost my Virginia when I was 16 years old.my Virginia breaker and i are still dating and my family doesn't know about it,sometimes i feel like that's wrong😣

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hi Makkay, there is totally nothing wrong with this. If you feel like you like or love the person you are dating and you are happy with him, then this is totally fine. Try not be so harsh and yourself and see if you can talk to an adult in your community, like your teacher or a trusted relative, about the things that you are going through with your boyfriend. Always make sure you have someone to help and guide you through things that are difficult to understand or deal with.

It is wrong because keeping a secret so long can break your relationship with him ...he maybe wants to be in the family like if u decided to get married to him then your family doesn't also gonna knw abut him please try to tell them

If he doesn't want yo listen then teach him a lesson if the lesson don't help try yo so something before its to late by losing him ...

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Hi sisters.. Im new here The thing is I'm in a long distance relationship And I really love him. I'm only 15 and he is 18. We have been dating for 1 year and 3 months. He wants us to have Sex.. And I have already tod him that I'm still a virgin... And I also want to try it at the same time Buh I'm still scare I dunno what to do .. Please advise me please!✔

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hello Lethuthando Welcome to Springster. Feel free to ask anything at any time. Sex is something you should do when you are ready. Don't do it because someone is pressurizing you to do it but only when you ready. Remember that even when you are ready you should use a condom at all times to protect yourself. We hope this helps Springster.

u must have sex when u ready don't have sex because u want make him happy or because u love the the dude be sure that u ready and u wanna have it as well

Hy guys am Nomazwe am 16 yrs old well i don't have a boyfriend...I have a kiss mate an am starting to develop feelings for him he doesn't know tht 😖😫 n it just hurt so bad to see him every single dae let alone see him with his galfriend ayysh am confused ...What should i do? 😭

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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I'm also at the same situation as you and seeing him with his girlfriend hurts me because i now think I'm falling for him😭I'm now even thinking of ending this whole kisses thing😔

Busi

Me too. He ask me to met with him and I agree then when I want to go home he says can I plz give him a hug,romance andkiss I agreed but he doesn't see that i have feelings for him .

Hy am 18 years old on Sunday ma boyfriend raped me I didn't want to sleep with him BT he couldn't listen he took it and also didn't care DAT I was crying he told me that he love me BT I was so sacred wat do I do?

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Report him , tell anyone you trust. And believe me when i say if he forces you he doesn't love you i am also into the very same problem but mine is more intense

Amen! Very well said... You know to speak up is the best thing one can do. Sometimes a guy will test you, if you really the person you say you are..now if you'll be quiet and say nothing, and just go with the flow, the next day.. You'll be spreading falsely rumours. So ladies love yourselves..more to it trust yourself. Respect your bodies.. Because that is the temple of Christ, our lord and Savior. Touching certain parts of the body, and undressing, and even certain kinds of kissing all belong on the other side of the line. These kinds of things lead up towards sex, and it makes it really hard for you to say No. If you allow some of these things, your boyfriend may get the wrong message and think that you want to go all the way. He may not want to listen when you say Stop".

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Amen! Very well said... You know to speak up is the best thing one can do. Sometimes a guy will test you, if you really the person you say you are..now if you'll be quiet and say nothing, and just go with the flow, the next day.. You'll be spreading falsely rumours. So ladies love yourselves..more to it trust yourself. Respect your bodies.. Because that is the temple of Christ, our lord and Savior. Touching certain parts of the body, and undressing, and even certain kinds of kissing all belong on the other side of the line. These kinds of things lead up towards sex, and it makes it really hard for you to say No. If you allow some of these things, your boyfriend may get the wrong message and think that you want to go all the way. He may not want to listen when you say Stop".

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

Hi Am Phila and am new in here!! I have this boyfriend that is 3 years older than me and unlike me he is matured and stuff. He tried convincing me to have sex with him but I always refused.he had this mentality that his older than me and he can do anything to me I really want to break up with him buh everytime I do that he threatens to do something me...I really want to tell my mom but she is going to blame me for all that am afraid that he is going to kill me and am too young to die(Still in high school) Please help

March 20, 2022, 8:56 p.m.

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Hello Sinesimo5, thank you for trusting us with your story. It is always better to have sex when you are ready. We would advise you to talk to an adult you trust and explaining the situation with them. No one has the right to force you to do anything against your will. We hope this helps Springster

Hi guys am Raya and am 24 years old , I have a boyfriend who is 27 years of ags , but has a child with another woman. We just dated recently (1 month) and he says he wants another child from me. Is that a good idea ?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Its up to you girl anyways its your body YOUR CHOICE

No it not a good idea darl Cz you not a baby machine

My boyfriend doesnt know how to take no for an answer. Every time we meet in public he touches me inappropriately, i say sabelo don't or no Sabelo but he doesn't listen . Our recent date was in a fancy hotel . But what i found was a bed with flower petals . He started undressing me , i could not stop him he raped me. I keep on avoiding him with lies i can't keep on lying for long what can i do

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Thats true thanks alot for the advice it will help alot of people as it has helped me

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Safety is the way

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Hey guys my name is Mbali am 18 year's old àm still a virgin and all my friends are no longer virgins they are busy forcing me to break my virginity and before my mother pass on I promised her that I will break my virginity when am merried so my friends don't understand please help

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hey Porgiter, please make sure to never use your name in the comment section. We will use the username you provided to us when we talk to you. This is just so your identity is kept safe and you are able to have some privacy. About your question, we don't think it's cool that your friends are putting so much pressure on you to have sex. Sex should be something you do when you are ready and if you feel marriage is the right time, your friends should respect this. We think you should be firm with them and let them know how important it is for you to keep the promise that you made to yourself and your mother. Tell them how it makes you feel when you pressure them too. If they don't understand, it's totally okay for you to also have another friend who might be a little more understanding. Everyone has different values and they should be respected.

Hey guys my name is Mbali am 18 year's old àm still a virgin and all my friends are no longer virgins they are busy forcing me to break my virginity and before my mother pass on I promised her that I will break my virginity when am merried so my friends don't understand please help

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Porgiter, please make sure to never use your name in the comment section. We will use the username you provided to us when we talk to you. This is just so your identity is kept safe and you are able to have some privacy. About your question, we don't think it's cool that your friends are putting so much pressure on you to have sex. Sex should be something you do when you are ready and if you feel marriage is the right time, your friends should respect this. We think you should be firm with them and let them know how important it is for you to keep the promise that you made to yourself and your mother. Tell them how it makes you feel when you pressure them too. If they don't understand, it's totally okay for you to also have another friend who might be a little more understanding. Everyone has different values and they should be respected.

Never listen to your friends cz they are too jealous & u made a promise to your mother that you will never sleep with a man until u get married. Please stay away from bad friend until get what you want.

My ex wants me back because he has no one to sex but im not stupidt no more .....all i want to do is get revenge for the way he broke my feelings.....girls how can i make him jalours without noticing

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Get a new bf n kiss him in front of him 😆😊😆

Get a new bf n kiss him in front of him 😆😊😆

hy springer ...OK here's a thing my boyfriend seems to be demanding sex from and I already told him that am not ready to have sex but it seems as if he doesn't take me serious at all coz he always talks on how his going to make me feel special during sex ....do I don't know what should I do coz am now losing interest in him I feel like his pressurizing me ! should I dump him or?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hi Springster, you should only have sex when you want to, and when you are ready. You should never have sex just to keep your partner happy or because you feel pressured for other reasons. Also, people have different needs and wants in a relationship, so if your views about having sex clash with your partner then you have to have a conversation with him/her. If you can’t come to any agreements and you feel like you have to do things when you don’t feel ready then this might not be the right time for you and your partner to be together. If you can, you can speak to a trusted parent, older sibling, aunty, teacher or a professional who can offer you support or you can call Love Life on 0800 121 900 or send them a please call me on this number 0 8 3 3 2 3 1 0 2 3 to call you back.

Guys I am not ready for sex cszwhen byfrnd wants sex I will not give him yintolo xa uthandana nekwekwe ikuxelele ukuba ibatyiwe ndiske ndithi "NO" aqumbe ndihambe mna

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

joh I have a similar problem my bae likes sex alot and every time we see each other he wants sex and we always fight about it...and one day he told me that it hard for him to mic me caz am boring I don't want to have sex with I refuse when I try to talk to him he get angry

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a month. Last time we were together he asked for sex, yes I was tempted but I had to tell him that I wasn't ready for it. He told me he wasn't in this relationship for sex, that he's interested in the real me. But rather he seems distant after the convo we had. Was he after sex or what? I'm confused. He really is a bf material but I'm not sure if I want to be with him anymore.

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hey Candyleigh, thank you for coming out to us with your story. We understand why you'd want to break up with him. No one has the right to make you feel guilty for not having sex with them We can't tell you whether or not to break up with him, but you should think about what feels right for you. Weigh the good and bad of your relationship and try and make the best decision from there. Good luck Springster.

I am 16 years old and still a virgin. Is it normal for me at this age to always be horny? What can I do if I'm forever horny but I can't gave sex?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hi Springster, it's really normal for you to be have feelings of arousal. Almost everyone has those feelings so you shouldn't be feeling guilty or ashamed about that. These feelings oftentimes appear during puberty. So this is a sign of your body acting normally Some people ignore the feeling because of personal or religious reasons while others choose to masturbate. What you decide to do with those feelings is totally your choice. For more, check out this article about understanding sex and your body during puberty. You can copy and paste the link below. Enjoy Springster! http://za.heyspringster.com/sections/my-body/birds-and-bees/

Hey guys I am turning 16 next year and uhm still a virgin But all my friends are no longer virgins and they told me that it's nice having sex and I gave it a thought and I came with the decision that when I get a boyfriend uhm gonna have sex with him but I realized that uhm not ready and that I must do things just to make my friends happy I must get ready first and then have so am I making a right decision?

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hey Springster, you're absolutely making the right decision. Doing something because you are pressured by others is never a good idea. It will only make you upset once you realise that you did not do it for yourself. Take your time, get a boyfriend when you are ready and have sexy when you are ready. No one should rush you when it comes to things like sex and relationships.

Hey guys I'm 18 still a Virgin, I've got a boyfriend He doesn't understand when am telling him that am not ready for sex it's like am losing him What should I do because I'm not ready .

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Two words dump him👐

If he's being pushy i suggest u dump him gal

If he's being pushy i suggest u dump him gal

Guys it is her choice

hy sprinter could u please help me im 15 year old girl..i was raped at the young age of 8years the person who raped me treathened to kill me if i say a word and that created more fear in me whenever i was around people he will call me and threatened me....i leave in fear from that day he raped me and im unable to tell anyone... im full of anger i really cant move on in my life

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Hi Springster, we really appreciate you reaching out to us, thank you. We understand that you are most likely going through a lot right now. Even though you might be experiencing a lot of emotions that are difficult to process and talk about to someone, you should consider approaching a trusted adult like a parent/guardian, relative, neighbour or teacher that you can talk to. Fear and shame prevent us from speaking out about rape and assault, but in order to get help, it is important to speak to an adult who is capable of guiding you through how you can get help. Sadly, we cannot talk to you face to face, but you can call Childline SA. They will offer you counselling over the phone, in person and online. They are here to help you! Don't forget you can contact them on their 24/7 Toll Free Helpline: 08 000 55 555 for help. Visit their website on http://www.childlinesa.org.za as well as their Facebook and Twitter page for useful information.

oh shame lam so sorry girl 😭😭😣😣l know you going through a hard time but don't lose hope God will always be with you 🙏🙏

This is heartbreaking I am really sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how you view this world. I pray to God you find eternal healing. 💕💕

bbygal I'm so sorry to hear what u are goin' thru 💔💔 I'm in tears as I type this 😭😭 hope u find healing, I know its hard to heal but plz try nd heal bbygal😘💕

I am so sorry but u hv to tell someone about this if u were able to tell us u can tell anyone if u live like that u don't know if he might come agn 😢😢😢💔💔💔💔💔

Hie sprinter😊,I'm a girl aged 19,i met this guy this year and we started dating around July, he's brought the topic of us being intimate but I've refused cause my culture beliefs abides me to be intimate after 21st,the guy has told me that I can't be he's other half until we are sexually active,well he hardly gives me his attention and visits me, I've asked him why he does that,he always put excuses about his occupation,i visit him more often but still he always seem to be busy for me,i love the guy and I don't know what to do,should I sit him down to explain my feelings to him? Or maybe I should just walk away because he might be playing with my feelings 😢 #relationships

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Same here😣,he's been telling that it has been a long time since we started dating and I've always never been ready,he even claims dat I'm making fool of him😟God,I'm not READY!!! What am I supposed to do cz I love him and I'm thinking of breaking up with him😐

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hello Zakithi12 Sex is something you should do when you are ready. Your partner might be ready and you might not. It is better to talk to them and let them know how you feel about it. It helps to talk to an adult you trust, it can be a parent, elder sibling or anyone you are close with. If there is no one, you can call the Love Life on 0800 121 900 or send them a please call me on this number 0 8 3 3 2 3 1 0 2 3 to call you back.

Hi guys I am a 13 year old gal I just wanna say thanks to all the advices you guys have given me u really appreciate it .I learnt that when ever life knocks you down you have to find a way to get up on ur feet and carry on .To all the gals who are pregnant and your parents don't know I suggest you sit with then down and talk about it because not talking can cause problemsMy sister told me only when she found out she was pregnant at the age of 18 she had the nerve to tell our parents and the baby daddy's family that she us pregnant so plz gals plan what to say .Plz do not do an abortionWhat if it's ur only child. Have the audacity to speak up WOMEN RUKE THE WORLD THE WORLD WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT WOMEN AMANDLA AWETHU

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I started dating him 2weeks ago and he wants to have sex with me and I'm not really sure if I'm ready for this or not but I really love him and now he is starting to say things like we'll better be friends than dating because we haven't met yet we always chatting and now he wants us to be friends and I'm an 18years old Virgin I don't know what to do this

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

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Let him go dodo hey is not worth it

Let him go dodo hey is not worth it

U should tell him it's fine let us be friends no problem because he will only take your career arway from u

u һѧνє ţһє яıɢһţ ţo sѧʏ ňo ıғ u Ԁoň'ţ ɰѧňňѧ Ԁo ɰѧţ һє/sһє ɰѧňţ u ţo do

March 20, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

Its your choice and its your rights

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Hi Sishiiey When someone say No we just have to respect their wish.

The was this boy who was 17 /18 he used to put his hands were they did not belong and i use to not feel fine about it and i have noy told anyone yet please tell me how to deal with this 🙏🙏🙏🙏

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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If this boy(predator) continues with this untoward behavior,it is advised that you seek help from a trustworthy adult,teacher or even the police. Do not be afraid. You have the right to do protect yourself!

Hey Elam! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues. I have hidden your comment to protect your privacy. I am pleased you felt able to share your thoughts, it's a really brave first step. Have you thought about talking to an adult that you can trust about this? This could be anyone from your parents/grandparents, a relative like an aunt, a neighbour or teacher. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can get extra advice from CHILDLINE SA. They can offer you counselling over the phone. You do not need to give your name and can call them 24/7. Their toll free helpline is : 0800 055 555 or check out https://www.childlinesa.org.za/ you will receive the support you need, by a friendly person trained to help you in a confidential way. Take care.

When is the right time to have sex

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues! Thank you for your question. I am pleased to tell you that you can now chat to Big Sis, a smart robot who will help you make smart choices when it comes to sex and relationships. She's ready to answer all your burning questions. Click on this link to get started: https://bit.ly/2TR8r2H

Hello I'm 14 at my school I used to be lame people never liked be or want to be friends with me because I didn't flirt with Boys I didn't wear makeup or sexy half naked clothes they used to call me church lady but expect for Chris he was a true friend he accepted me the way I was he never judged me at lunch time we would hang out together to be real we became the closest of friends until one day when I was sleep over as his house since our parents knew we were the best if the best of friends so I didn't be scared of sleeping at his house because he won't hurt me in any form but I was wrong!! When we were watching a movie in his room a sex scene showed up... It was a very awkward moment... Between the two of us so I took the remote and changed the channel because the scene was getting deeper and deeper.. Suddenly Chris snaps at me about changing the movie.. So I yelled is this what you want to watch then fine go ahead !!...i stormed off to the upper layer of the double bed.. Chris looked at me as i said you have changed.. He says what do you expect I'm a guy as he keeps getting closer and closer so I slapped him by mistake ....i said Chris I'm sorry he quickly climes on top of me and held both my hands tight...as I was yelling Chris I'm sorry please don't do it he took off his sock and

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Ahh thats really a long story but interesting you must be an author

Hey Springster! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues. I have hidden your comment to protect your privacy. I am pleased you felt able to share your thoughts, it's a really brave first step. Have you thought about talking to an adult that you can trust about this? This could be anyone from your parents/grandparents, a relative like an aunt, a neighbour or teacher. Sadly, we can't talk to you directly but you can get extra advice from CHILDLINE SA. They can offer you counselling over the phone. You do not need to give your name and can call them 24/7. Their toll free helpline is : 0800 055 555 or check out https://www.childlinesa.org.za/ you will receive the support you need, by a friendly person trained to help you in a confidential way. Take care.

Hii Springsters so my boyfriend keeps telling me that he is a guy its in his nature to have sex so if I dont sleep with him he will sleep with someone else So i told him to do so because i have lost complete interesr in the relationship

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! Sorry for the delay, I had some technical issues! Thank you for your question. I am pleased to tell you that you can now chat to Big Sis, a smart robot who will help you make smart choices when it comes to sex and relationships. She's ready to answer all your burning questions. Click on this link to get started: https://bit.ly/2TR8r2H

Ze2

Good girl good for u

Follow yr feelings

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Ya true

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Just trust your gut

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Enough is enough learn to say no

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

My body ,my choice ,my desion

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

Nonsense. 😫No is a No nd that's final!!! #Enough is Enough...!!!!!

March 20, 2022, 8:54 p.m.

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Bronwin

Yeeeeeeees this booooyssss don't listen nooooioiiooo meeeeans nooooioiiooo